Expressions of Love

By Crivenica

Most of the world knows that tomorrow is Valentine’s day. Many women and girls hope they will get a card that says “Be my Valentine” or other words of love, a bouquet of beautiful flowers, a box of candies or even perhaps a pretty piece of jewelry from the object of their affections.

The last time I was giddy about Valentine’s day was when I was in high school. I got a huge red expensive (at least from an Indonesian high school student’s point of view in 1995, it was expensive!) Hallmark Valentine’s day card from the boy I liked. However, I haven’t really thought much about the day since then.

As a couple, David and I never join in the Valentine’s day hoopla. It’s not because we don’t believe in showing our love for each other. We just don’t believe that we need a special day to do that. Love is constant, so we try to express it every day either in words, actions, or gestures.

David is always good in keeping the romance alive in our marriage. Better than I am, really. When we still lived in Jakarta, he sporadically surprised me by sending flowers to my office even when there was no special occasion. And my co-workers had always been surprised when no flowers arrived for me on the “day of love”.

Though receiving flowers from him always makes me smile, there are other subtle things that David does that make me feel loved. It’s every time he stopped everything that he was doing and just watched me with this soft look in his eyes, or when I received a random text from him telling me how lucky he was to have me as his wife, or when he always makes sure to tell me that he loves me before he takes off on an airplane every time he has to travel without me. These small gestures are more important to me than a once-a-year grandeur. And I know he feels the same way.

Many women complained that their husbands or significant others are not romantic and would not do anything special for them. But I think we sometimes forget that romance doesn’t necessarily involve flowers, candle lit dinners, or rose petals strewn on your bed. I’m sure if we look closely, we all will see the subtle gestures that our partners do that spell out their love for us (sometimes without even realizing it).

For example, the other day I chatted on Whatsapp with my cousin, Alex, who was waiting for his flight back to Singapore after a short visit home. I found out that he was carrying chicken noodle and pempek (Indonesian fish cakes) back with him. He told me even though it was inconvenient to carry all that food, he did it for his wife, who couldn’t come home with him. Sure that doesn’t seem romantic, but nonetheless that is love.

I asked some of my friends about their stories on love and with their permissions, I’d like to share them with you. And after reading these stories, I hope that you would also share your story. I would love to hear them. After all, even if I don’t celebrate Valentine’s day, I still love a good romance.

Anti
My husband and I are expecting our first child. Our baby daughter is due in a couple of days and as a first time mother, I have been anxious and worried about the health of our baby. I didn’t think I could be calm until she arrived safely and healthy. However, Anton, my husband, said to me, “let us just pray for the best, but whatever happens, she is a gift and a responsibility that God has bestowed upon us.” His words brought calm to my heart and tears to my eyes. I think the way he calmed me down was beautiful.

Reza
I’m not a romantic guy, but I love my wife because she is my best friend and that she is different from other girls. And I know her so well that I can tell when she’s getting an asthma attack just from the subtle difference in her breathing before she even knows it.

Indri
For me & my husband, a token of love doesn't need to be grand. For us, tiny sweet things can be grand! I love the way my husband calling me by the door when he gets home and gives me the biggest hug and a little smooch as he whispers in my ear, "It's so nice to come home to you." Or when I'm busy on my computer and he'd come by to land a small kiss on my forehead. And the sweetest thing is when he suddenly sings the Turkish stadium chant out loud, but replaces every word with "I love you honey. I love you honey."

As for him, he never asks me to do anything. He praises what I cook, how I manage the house, etc. But I know he likes it best when I sit by him while he's playing his favorite game on PS3. Another thing that I know he loves most is when I never fail to serve him a cup of Chamomile tea and dessert an hour after dinner. His eyes would spark so bright, his face would turn so joyful and after he took the tea and dessert from my hands, he would land tons of kisses on my face.

Shilla
I was seeing this guy before I came home to Indonesia. We both knew that even if we cared for each other, after I moved away, we would go our separate ways. And we started to see less of each other. Last new year’s eve, I expected that he would have plans with his friends and I was going to use the night for a self-reflection for once. However, he came knocking on my door, surprising me. When I asked him why he came, he gave me a hug as he simply answered, “Because I want to be with you.” It was one of our loveliest nights together.

Nia
When my kitten got really sick at one o’clock in the morning, he came all the way from the other side of town to my house and drove all around Jakarta with me looking for an open veterinarian office. We finally found one in the north side of the city. We had to leave my kitten at the vet’s, but because I live so far from the vet’s and I had to work the next day, he then took charge of checking on my kitten everyday until we could take him home. He did it all for me. By the way, he’s a dog person.